The Ordinary Revolution in Parenting: Rediscovering the Magic in Everyday Moments
In a world obsessed with extraordinary achievements, FOMO, and keeping up with the Joneses, William Martin’s words from “The Parent’s Tao Te Ching” resonate deeply:
“Do not ask your children to strive for extraordinary lives. Such striving may seem admirable, but it is the way of foolishness. Help them instead to find the wonder and the marvel of an ordinary life. Show them the joy of tasting tomatoes, apples, and pears. Show them how to cry when pets and people die. Show them the infinite pleasure in the touch of a hand. And make the ordinary come alive for them. The extraordinary will take care of itself.”
We’re Chasing the Wrong Extraordinary
In a world of Instagram-perfect family vacations and preschoolers mastering Mandarin, we’ve lost sight of the truly remarkable: the ordinary moments that shape our children’s lives.
The meltdown at the ice cream shop isn’t about the sprinkles. It’s about a 5-year-old navigating a world that constantly screams “more!” A 5-year-old who gets “more” becomes a 12-year-old who expects more.
I’ve been that parent, walking out empty-handed, my son’s “I hate you” echoing as onlookers reach for their phones. It’s not pretty, but it’s real. Now, six years later, in their protest, I get the silent treatment. It’s easier for them to be silent than to work through the multitude of feelings and hormones shaping their moods.
Here’s the Secret: The Magic Happens in the Spaces Between the Highlight Reel
It’s the short hikes and long talks. The cardboard box spaceships and puddle oceans when they are young, or a game of hoops or fishing on a dock.
These ordinary moments? They’re anything but ordinary. They are the building blocks they’ll need for everything:
- Appreciation
- Resilience
- Emotional intelligence
- Mindfulness
- Creativity
We don’t need to manufacture extraordinary childhoods. We need to illuminate the extraordinary in the everyday. We need to increase their boredom, to develop their creativity, appreciation, and mindfulness, not to mention self-awareness.
The child’s next tantrum? It’s an opportunity. A chance to show that contentment isn’t found in more toppings, but in savoring what’s already in the cone. Core moments aren’t made on the iPad or on social media.
Remember: The extraordinary will take care of itself. Your job is to make the ordinary come alive.
Christopher lives in Vermont with his wife, twin boys, border collie and corgi. He has owned a film production company, sold slot machines, and worked for Tony Robbins. He writes in his magical tiny house and sometimes writes in his blog at chrisrodgers.blog
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